Have you ever been criticized by a superior, a cohort, a spouse, a client? How did it feel? Did it empower you to be better, did it inspire you to do more, or did it pop your bubble?
Good coaches are hard to find. Some are too nice. They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Others are too tough. They end up chopping the legs out from under people, promoting severe, long-lasting insecurity and under-performance. Lastly, some are too general. They simply are not specific as to what it is they like and/or what it is they feel needs improvement.
While our intention may be to help others be better, the truth is, we may be doing the opposite. Instead of helping others, we may be demoralizing them, demeaning them, and destroying them. Not good.
Here's an idea. Try praising them first. Find something specific you can credit them with. Give them accolades for something you deem admirable. Then identify something else you see as positive. Then identify another observation of them that you genuinely like. Then encourage them to keep doing those things.
Then, and only then, can we offer some 'areas for improvement.' We recommend you phrase it that way too! Stay clear of saying things like... "Here's what I didn't like." or "Here's what sucked." or "Here's what I hate." or "Here's what didn't work."
The result, you will find, is that the individual we are coaching, is able to clearly identify, recall and repeat the things that you deemed positive and are therefore encouraged to continue doing those things. At the same time, you have helped them identify one or two areas that you feel may need some improvement or modification.
It's also important to note that not everyone sees things the way we do. This is simply our opinion. It is but one perspective. Others may view it differently.
So, now it's your turn. Let us know your take on this article. If you Like It, then please Like It and tell us why. If you see areas for improvement, please share your thoughts. Lastly, if you or someone you know, has a need for some constructive communication coaching, please visit our website at www.triviumperformance.com. Or simply call us directly at 843.681.6283 to talk!
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